


We Can't Help It

by Krashlyn



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-05 03:06:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1803070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krashlyn/pseuds/Krashlyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So this is for a prompt requested by Sydney...</p><p>Prompt: "Ali goes on a vacation w/ Hao, Lloyd, Heath, Lindsey, Rapinoe etc and one of them decide to bring Ashlyn (Ali's never met her) they get to know each other on the trip and become best friends instantly (almost inseparable). Ashlyn's sure of her attraction to Ali, but Ali's not sure. Ali starts dating someone to see if her feelings towards Ashlyn is real, but Ashlyn is still determined to get Ali."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Sunglasses?"

"Check."

"Surfboard?"

"Check!"

"A thousand button-ups?"

"Chec- hey!" Ashlyn caught herself in time.

"I think you packed enough for a month." Tobin laughed.

"Always good to have options." Ashlyn smiled as she unpacked one of them and closed the suitcase. Like one would make a difference.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Tobin beamed as she hopped off Ashlyn's bed.

"For sure. Thanks again for inviting me, man!" Ashlyn clapped her on the back.

"Of course. Wouldn't have it any other way." Tobin responded as she checked her phone. "HAO and them should be here soon. Should we try to wake up Kel again?" She shot Ashlyn a devilish smile and they both bolted for the living room.

...

"I hate you both." Kelley said as she stood up and almost fell over.

"Not our fault you drank too much." Alex pointed out from behind her magazine as she sat at the kitchen counter.

"Actually, it is." Kelley retorted and they all laughed- thinking back on a drinking game Tobin created specifically so Kelley would repeatedly lose. "Was that even a real game?" She asked.

"Nope." Tobin said plainly and dodged a pillow to the face as Kelley flopped back on the couch. "Get up!" Tobin yelled as they piled on Kelley.

...

"Coming!" Ashlyn shouted as she rode into the living room on her longboard, sunglasses already over her eyes, toward the front door.

Alex threw a pillow at her to try and knock her off balance but Ashlyn recovered gracefully and swung the door open to find three of her friends. "Heyyyyy!" They all yelled in unison.

She hugged Pinoe and HAO and Lori all while standing on the board. She was so excited to see them she didn't even notice the girl walking up the lawn behind them. She was fixing her hair and not paying attention and the sight of her made Ashlyn pause.

Ashlyn prayed when she looked up she would have blue eyes or green eyes or anything but... _gulp... brown eyes. Damn._ Ashlyn had a weakness for girls with brown eyes. Specifically brunettes with brown eyes. And she's just noticing now that brown-eyed brunettes with killer smiles are her ultimate weakness.

She stepped off the board and softly rolled it backward with her foot, very nonchalant. She stood up straight and smoothed out her button up. She pulled the sunglasses off too.

"Hi, I'm Ali." The girl walked right up and shook her hand with a smile.

"Ashlyn. Nice to meet you."

"You surf too?" She pointed to Ashlyn's Jeep with three boards strapped to the roof.

"I do. Do you?" Ashlyn started to walk into the house.

"Nah, its on my list though." She had a slight mumble to her speech and Ashlyn found it endearing.

"Nice... if you ever want to learn..." She offered.

Ali smiled appreciatively and went to hug Kelley, Alex and Tobin.

...

They were standing out by the cars- mapping out the route and then they were ready to go.

"Sorry you're stuck in a car with those three." Ashlyn said loud enough for everyone to hear. "They have pretty bad taste in music so..." She gave Ali a look and turned to get in the Jeep.

"I'll keep them in check." Ali played along and joined the other car.

...

"This place is sick, Kell!" Tobin exclaimed as they walked up to the front door.

"Always trust me." She said as she entered the code to unlock the key-box. "Here we are." She said as she opened the door. "Home!" She spread her arms wide and breathed in the beach house scent. One of her favorites.

"We're never leaving." Pinoe joined in. "Like, ever."

"Right?" Alex added. "This is so nice!"

"Except there's only 6 bedrooms so two of us have to share."

"I can sleep on one of the couches." Ashlyn offered. "I was last to commit anyway."

"Well that's ridiculous. We'll share." Alex pointed between herself and Ashlyn. "We can be cuddle buddies..." She jokingly nudged Ashlyn's ribs.

"We can share. No cuddling though." She smiled.

"Yea, Ash isn't a cuddler." Pinoe pointed out.

"Who doesn't like cuddling?!" Alex protested with her arms in the air.

"Me." Ashlyn laughed. "And you should know that by now."

"So weird." Alex continued as she walked further into the house. "Your future wife is one lucky lady." She said sarcastically.

"So... where are the rooms?" Tobin asked as she looked to a hallway to the left and then one to the right.

"Three on each side." Kelley responded and they all glanced at each other before making a mad dash to get the best room. Luckily for Kelley, she already knew which one she wanted. And all but Alex and herself went to the side it was on. Kelley took her time walking to it. She stayed here before a few years ago and always wanted to come back.

Ashlyn stood in the entry and waited it out until she heard Alex cheering from one of the rooms. She walked along the kitchen and down the hall to the room. She threw her stuff on the bed and flopped down on it.

"Let's go see the rest of the house." Alex pulled her up excitedly and they walked back out.

... 

They ended up on the back patio, overlooking the pool and hot tub and everyone else came out to join eventually. Kelley's room and Ali's room both had doors directly to the patio and then there were sliding doors off the living room and kitchen. But Ashlyn and Alex still swore their room was the best. It had a balcony and you could see the ocean past the house across the narrow street.

They all just looked around and took it in. It was pretty hot out already and the pool looked inviting.

"So I was thinking..." Ashlyn turned to everyone and waited for six sets of eyes to meet hers. "Last one in is a rotten egg!" She yelled as she turned and sprinted for the pool. Soon to be followed by six other girls. Clothes and all.

"Wooo!" Lori yelled as she came up from underwater. "Vacation has officially started!" They all high-fived and dunked each other. 

...

"Okay. Now someone needs to go grocery shopping." Kelley laughed. Obviously not wanting to be the one to do it.

"I'll go." Ashlyn offered. "I like grocery shopping." She added.

"Doesn't like to cuddle but likes to grocery shop. Who actually likes going to the grocery store?"

"Me." Ash chuckled.

"Me too actually." Ali chimed in. "It's kind of fun." She shrugged.

"Oh good!" Kelley jumped on that opportunity. "You can go with her." She smiled at Ali.

"Yea, that's fine." She answered easily and shrugged again.

Ashlyn would be lying if she said her heart didn't flip a little. _Now would be a good time to impress her. Play it cool._

...

Ali's jaw dropped when Ashlyn's grip slipped and a whole jar of pickles shattered in the middle of the aisle. She had too many things in her hand and refused Ali's assistance, too proud to accept help. Ashlyn clenched her teeth and bit out a "dammit" to herself. _Way to play it cool._

"Clean up in aisle six." Ali teased as she broke into a smile and it eased the tension of Ashlyn's embarrassment.

"Guess I didn't 'have it', huh?" Ashlyn chuckled.

"Guess not." Ali moved out of the way as an employee came to clean it up

"Sorry!" Ashlyn smiled guiltily but the woman just waved her off and smiled.

...

"I'm thinking a thirty for now." Ali said as she stood in the beer aisle.

"I'm thinking two." Ashlyn contested and grabbed one in each hand. 

"Want help with those?" Ali said teasingly.

"I have it." Ashlyn mimicked herself from earlier but right before she put them in the cart she pretended to drop one. "Oh no!" She yelled and pretended to fall forward with it. Ali quickly stepped in to help but Ashlyn started laughing when she noticed Ali fell for the prank.

"You're sooo funny." Ali shook her head sarcastically and crossed her arms, trying not to laugh.

"Thanks. I'm here all week." Ashlyn flashed her a smile and moved on. Ali just stood there for a second and smiled to herself. _There's something endearing about this girl._

...

When they got back to the house, everyone was already down at the beach. They stocked the fridge and cabinets and Ashlyn went to her room to get changed for the beach. When she walked back out, Ali handed her a beer and cracked it open.

"For the walk." She smiled since it was only a few feet to the beach path.

"See, good thing we got two. This is important." Ashlyn teased as she clinked her can into Ali's. Ali chuckled and smiled and her nose crinkled when she did. She started toward the door but Ashlyn just stood there for a moment. Trying to recover as her breath was taken away by the most beautiful smile she's ever seen. _Wow._

...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I plan to make this a longer story like my main ones. 5+ chapters. Maybe even 10.
> 
> Stay tuned.

They kicked off vacation by going out to dinner that night. Kelley knew a place on the bay where they could sit out on the docks and listen to live music while the sun set. They all caught up and told stories of times past and made fun of each other.

They all ran to the bathroom before the short ride home. All but Ali and Ashlyn. They sat on a bench near the door and waited for everyone to come out.

"Its beautiful here."

"It really is." Ashlyn leaned back and looked up at the stars. 

"There's Orion's Belt." Ali said.

"Where?" Ashlyn couldn't see it.

"Right there." Ali pointed to the sky above them.

"Oh, now that you pointed it out..." Ashlyn teased.

Ali chuckled and leaned over so Ashlyn's eyes could follow her hand.

Ashlyn laughed when it didn't work. "Future at NASA- crushed." She joked and Ali smiled.

"Here..."

Ali lightly grabbed Ashlyn's jaw in her hand and lined her eyes with the constellation. "Oh..." Ashlyn said but suddenly she didn't care about the stars anymore.

"Yea..." Ali said. Suddenly very aware her hand was on Ashlyn. She slowly pulled it away. "So, you know... when NASA sends you to the moon one day- remember who got you there." She teased to make light of the situation.

"Oh, totally." Ashlyn played along and they laughed together.

"Aw look- they're becoming friends!" Pinoe said when she walked outside and Kelley and HAO joined in with 'aw-ing' them.

Ashlyn just shook her head and laughed.

...

They got back to the house and everyone was so tired from the travel day they decided to hang in and watch a movie.

Pinoe, HAO, Ashlyn and Lori wanted to watch a scary movie. Alex, Ali, and Kelley did not.

But it was four against three and the scary movie won in the end.

"Well, I'm just going to go to bed then." Kelley got up but Ashlyn playfully tackled her back down to the couch.

"Ashhh!" She laughed as she tried to pry Ashlyn off but her grip was too tight. "Fine! Fine! I'll stay." She gave in and Ashlyn let her go.

"Good. And Alex will be crying just as much as you so you two can cuddle." Ashlyn smiled. "Because we all know I'm not cuddling with either of you." She teased.

"Good!" Alex confirmed. "I wanted to cuddle with Kelley more anyway." She moved closer and leaned into her best friend's side.

"Take that!" Kelley joined in and wrapped an arm around Alex while making a face at Ashlyn.

...

They were halfway into the movie and even Ashlyn was a little creeped out. But she made sure not to let it show. Especially with Ali slowly moving closer to her each time a scary part came up, sometimes even grabbing her arm. She would apologize each time but Ashlyn certainly didn't mind.

...

There was a really suspenseful scene where Ali knew something was going to pop out. She grabbed onto Ashlyn's sleeve and partially buried herself in it. Waiting for the scene to pass.

She buried herself behind Ashlyn's arm when it finally happened. Stomping her feet she was so scared.

And Ashlyn couldn't help but laugh a little. But she made sure to contain herself when Ali was done hiding.

"Sorry." Ali straightened out her sleeve and moved to sit back.

Ashlyn chuckled. "Its okay." She reassured and laid her arm across Ali's lap. "You can have it for the rest of the movie." She said smoothly and smiled.

And before Ali could lie and say she was fine without it, something ran across the screen and she noticed she was already holding Ashlyn's arm again anyway. She gave in.

"Thanks." She whispered to Ashlyn.

"Anytime." Ashlyn said and leaned closer to Ali to make her feel safe.

...

When the movie was over, everyone got up to go to bed. Everyone but Ashlyn and Ali. Ashlyn didn't want to move until Ali did- she wasn't ready to end the close contact they had right now.

And Ali couldn't go to sleep just yet. She needed to get her mind off the movie. She suggested watching something on TV for a bit.

"Yea, I'm not tired yet anyway." Ashlyn lied and caught a grin on Pinoe's face.

"GOODnight, girls." Pinoe said to both of them but directed it at Ashlyn knowingly. She had caught on.

...

Now they really were falling asleep so Ashlyn sucked it up and said they should go to bed. As much as she would like Ali to fall asleep with her- she knew it wouldn't work out right in the long run. And the last thing she wanted was an awkwardness between herself and her friends' friend.

"Thanks for being my safety blanket." Ali smiled shyly when she got up.

"You're welcome." Ashlyn chuckled.

"Whoever said you don't like to cuddle is a damn liar." Ali pressed on.

"I _don't_ like to cuddle." Ashlyn reiterated. "Because that wasn't cuddling. That was... protecting Pinoe's friend." Ashlyn made something up and Ali scoffed.

"Yea, okay." She teased.

"You're right. I guess technically I was protecting my friend too." She said with an adorable smile and Ali had no rebuttal for that. "Goodnight, friend." Ashlyn said as she made her way down the hall to her room.

...

That night, Ashlyn laid awake for a while thinking about Ali. She snuggled up to her pillow and held it close to fill the void of not having Ali next to her.

Ali laid in her room and wondered what was going on in her head. There was something different about Ashlyn. Something she couldn't put a finger on and she tried to go to sleep to prevent herself from thinking too far into it.

...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One update now and the next chapter later :)
> 
> Uploaded from my phone because I'm impatient. Sorry if there are any mistakes.

The next day, Ashlyn went kayaking with Kelley, Tobin, HAO and Lori while the other three went into town to check out the local shops.

They met at the beach later and shared stories of their adventures.

Ashlyn and Kelley rented surfboards from a local outfitter and were meeting the guy up at the house in a few minutes.

"Anyone want anything while we're up there?" Ashlyn asked before heading to the house. She was going to ask Ali directly but she was on the phone.

She received a slew of "no, thank you's" and her and Kelley made their way up.

...

A half hour later- they came pummeling down the beach. Wetsuits on and boards in hand as they threw their stuff on their towels and ran for the water. The whole group watched and laughed, as did the people on the beach.

Especially when Kelley tripped on her leash and almost fell, gracefully catching herself on her hands and continuing forward.

...

Ashlyn came in a half hour later when she was hungry but Kelley stayed out. Ash handed her board off to Tobin who walked smoothly toward the water. "This is how a real surfer does it." She yelled over her shoulder.

Ashlyn scoffed at Tobin's comment and wiped her face with her towel. She unzipped her wetsuit but didn't pull it down. The edge of her side tattoo was peaking from underneath and Ali tried not to stare but at the same time tried to get a better look.

She didn't know what it was but there was something about Ashlyn that truly intrigued her.

She heard Ashlyn mention to Tobin about coming in because she was hungry so she made a plan.

"I think I'm going to head up to the Sand Bar and get something to eat. Does anyone want anything while I'm there?" She asked.

"I'll come with you." Ash added, not catching onto the plan. "I'm starving."

The rest of the girls said they were good on food. They had a huge breakfast and Ali wasn't too hungry either but she figured it was a good segway to hanging out with Ashlyn.

They walked up to the house so Ashlyn could change and Ali could bring back her beach chair, towel, etc.

Ali went to the kitchen for some water as Ashlyn walked toward her room- pulling down her wetsuit and exposing her toned body and a huge side tattoo. 

Ali stood there- watching as she slipped out of sight. _Wow._

... 

The hostess asked if they were getting take out or needed a table.

Ashlyn looked to Ali and shrugged. "Might as well sit, right?"

"Yea." Ali nodded and smiled.

The hostess brought them to a table and handed them menus before taking their drink order.

"This is okay, right? Since no one wanted us to bring anything back?" Ashlyn made sure.

"Of course." Ali assured. This is what she wanted anyway.

...

Conversation came easily and it was like they had known each other for years. Except for the fact they knew nothing about each other. But that was the point of Ali's plan.

"So... do you have any other tattoos?" Ali asked, knowing very well the answer was yes.

"I do. I have a bunch on my side. Well... they all kind of make one but yea... and then these obviously." She said as she pointed to her arm. "And this..." She pulled her gray tank top to the side on one shoulder to reveal the writing on top of it and then did the same on the other side.

"Oh nice." Ali said from close proximity.

"Do you?" Ashlyn asked. "Aside from the one on your arm and the one on your side." She added.

Ali tried her best not to seem affected by it. _So she was looking, huh._

"Just those ones." She said. "Can I see yours?" She was still curious.

Ashlyn just looked up to her and then side-to-side.

Ali back-pedaled. "I mean- not now obviously."

Ashlyn cracked a smile. "I know. I'll show you later." She continued. "If you're good." She winked at Ali and pulled the menu up in front of her face before Ali could respond to her flirtation.

Ali smiled for a second before the waitress snapped her out of her daze and brought over their drinks.

"Water without lemon?" She asked.

"That's mine. Thanks." Ashlyn raised her hand and leaned closer to the waitress. "Hers is with lemon. Gotta even out the sweetness, ya know?" She teased and further flirted with Ali.

Ashlyn couldn't stop herself.

...

They rejoined the group and spent the rest of the day between the beach and the pool at their house. Pinoe and Lori made dinner later that night and the girls all hung out on the patio drinking wine and relaxing.

Until a little bit of wine turned into a lot of wine and soon everyone was sharing stories and asking questions and playing games. With the exception of Ashlyn and Ali- they were all a tight-knit group so there were usually no boundries.

"Ooo, let's play Never Have I Ever!" Alex cheered.

"Nooo!" Tobin and Kelley groaned in unison.

"We already know the answers." Tobin added.

"Exactly why its fun." Pinoe jumped in. "Because one of us might know something about someone that the others don't know. Like... Never Have I Ever: broken my friends sunglasses by sitting on them and pretended I knew nothing when she found them." She gave Alex a pointed glare.

"Alex!" HAO yelled as Alex blushed and looked down. "You're lucky they were cheap!" She smacked her leg.

"Oh, I like this game." Kelley changed her mind. "Never Have I Ever: ummm... oh! Had a crush on my best friend." She was proud of her contribution.

But no one took a sip.

She looked to Pinoe and Lori. "Really?" She asked in disbelief.

They looked at each other and then back to Kelley in confusion.

"Seriously?" Lori asked.

"Us?" Pinoe added.

"I don't know." Kelley shrugged as they broke out laughing.

"No!" Lori managed to get out between chuckles.

"Different kind of love, girl!" Pinoe added and leaned into her, strictly platonic, best friend.

"Yea, yea, yea... Next!" Kelley waved Tobin on to ask a question.

...

The game went on for a while. Ali learned some things about Ashlyn. Ashlyn learned some about Ali. And mostly everyone else just made fun of each other.

Ali got suspended in high school for skipping class and getting caught.

Ashlyn had never smoked a cigarette.

Ali had never broken the law.

Ashlyn had slept with two different girls in one day... Oh how she hated Kelley for digging deep to bring up that one.

Eventually everyone started to wind down and drop out to head to bed. Again it was Ali and Ashlyn who stayed up the latest.

"I've been craving a late-night walk on the beach. Want to come?" Ashlyn asked. She thought she would put it out there and see what Ali decided to do.

"Yea!" Ali answered a little more excitedly than she meant to. The wine helped. "I mean... yea, sure." She played it cool and then laughed at herself and Ashlyn joined.

...

They walked down the path and along the shore as the moon lit their way. Ashlyn felt a strong urge to bump her shoulder with Ali's but she refrained. There was something about Ali that drew her closer. Ashlyn couldn't shake it.

She only wished Ali felt the same way. She didn't even know if Ali was into that. Or if she had a boyfriend. Or anything.

They stopped at the lifeguard chair and Ashlyn climbed up. Offering a hand to her new friend and Ali took it. They silently stared at the moon for a moment and Ali smiled to herself.

"Never Have I Ever..." She started and that caught Ashlyn's attention. "Broken the law." Ali repeated from the game earlier and brought out the bottle of wine she was hiding in her hoodie.

Ashlyn chuckled at that. Impressed with the way Ali went about it.

Ali took a sip now. Proving she HAD now broken the law.

"You're 24." Ashlyn laughed. "Pretty sure you're drinking legally." She pointed out.

"Yes, but drinking on this beach is illegal." Ali countered cleverly. "So is bringing glass containers on the beach so..." She took another swig. "I broke two laws now." She giggled.

"Ohhh, _such_ a rebel." Ashlyn teased and nudged Ali with her shoulder.

Ali nudged back and playfully tried to push Ashlyn. But the blonde caught her hands and restrained her but Ali wiggled free and started ruffling Ashlyn a little. Ashlyn managed to grab her hands again and pin them behind her back, ultimately bringing them face-to-face.

They paused for a second in that embrace until Ashlyn realized what she was doing. She let go quickly.

"Sorry." She apologized and looked down.

"Its okay." Ali said shyly.

Ashlyn felt something in that moment. It traveled in the form of butterflies in her stomach and electricity in her toes. Even the smallest gesture from this girl was enough to make her feel crazy. She's sure the wine helped too.

Ali wasn't sure what she felt when she did that. Definitely something. Nerves maybe. She brushed them off and nudged Ashlyn again before flashing her a genuine smile.

Ashlyn just squinted at her and grabbed the bottle from her hand. She had a plan.

She waited a few minutes and then started...

"Never Have I Ever... kissed a girl." Ashlyn said non-chalantly and took a sip of the wine.

"What?" Ali laughed.

"You heard me." She smiled into the bottle and looked at Ali out of the corner of her eye.

Ali looked to the ocean and, after a couple seconds, grabbed the bottle from Ashlyn's hands and took a sip herself.

Ashlyn's heart soared and she tried to hold back a smile. She was glad Ali wasn't facing her when it spread across her face.

Ashlyn nodded and before Ali could say anything she continued. "Your turn."

"No questions?" Ali looked to her, surprised.

"None of my business." Ashlyn said plainly- secretly trying to get Ali to spill.

"Yet you asked...?" Ali said pointedly, a little skeptical. Feeling like maybe Ashlyn was up to something.

Ashlyn only shrugged. She pretended she didn't really care.

"We should head back to the house." She said after a moment. "Don't want you to get arrested first time you break a law!" She teased.

"O-okay." Ali said. A little confused as to why Ashlyn would ask that if she wasn't going to do anything about it.

Ashlyn's plan was working. She wanted to keep Ali guessing.

...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised...
> 
> Also, you can read the original prompt in the summary now!

They went on a walk every night of the trip. They spent most of the time together. Instantly falling into an affectionate friendship. They were almost inseperable and the other girls patted themselves on the back for match-making this new friendship.

The last night, they sat on the beach one more time, mostly in silence. Neither of them knew what to say. Ashlyn would have known what to say if she thought she had a chance. But it was pretty clear from stories throughout the trip that she was straight.

Not like straight girls were an obstacle for Ashlyn before. But she didn't want a one night thing with Ali. She was worth more than that. And Ashlyn wondered how far over her head she had gotten herself.

"It was in college." Ali said softly to break the silence.

She looked to Ashlyn who just narrowed her eyes in confusion.

Ali smiled. "I kissed a girl in college." She clarified.

"Oh." Ashlyn sat up straighter. She was **not** expecting that.

"Two girls actually." Ali continued. " **Not** in the same day." She teased.

Ashlyn smirked. "Oh, I was doing more than just kissin- ummm." She stopped short- not allowing herself to be cocky in front of Ali.

But Ali just laughed softly. "I'm not judging you." She assured and rested her head on Ashlyn's shoulder. An action that made Ashlyn's heart flip.

...

The trip came to and end the next morning. They would be getting in separate cars and driving to separate end-points.

They said their goodbyes with everyone else from the group. Their hug lasted a little longer. Ashlyn felt a tugging on her heartstrings- she knew exactly what it was. Ali felt the same- but she had no idea what it could be.

They already made plans to hang out soon- seeing as Ashlyn lived close to Ali's mom. And it took Ali less than a week to invite her down for the weekend.

They would take turns drivng up to visit the other. Spending so much time together- they easily became best friends. There was not one without the other.

And they danced fine line between friendship and something more- yet neither of them crossed it.

Ali laid awake in bed one night after going out with her friends. She kept talking about Ashlyn all night. Every story- lead back to her. She even changed the story sometimes to make it about Pinoe or HAO instead of Ashlyn. That's how bad it was.

Her friends had yet to meet Ashlyn. Usually when she was up for a couple days- Ali would disappear into Ashlyn-land. They were in their own world. And that was a sign too...

Ali wasn't sure what was going on- Ashlyn was all she could think about.

 _Why can't I get her out of my head? Does this mean I like her? It doesn't... right?_

She argued with herself all night. As she did many nights since they met.

She finally decided to there was only one way to get the answer.

...

Ashlyn laid on her couch one night, upside-down with her legs swung over the back. She couldn't sleep.

She kept thinking back to Ali leaning into her as they watched a movie. The way she would catch Ali looking at her. Even the way Ali said the word 'dessert'. Everything about Ali- big or small, made her smile.

She knew she had it bad. And she was pretty sure Ali did too.

She looked forward to pushing the boundries a little futher next time they hung out. Two weeks from now.

It had been a few months of holding back. Time to turn on the charm.

...

Ali wrapped Ashlyn in a big hug when she arrived. Same as ever. Ashlyn picked her up slightly and hugged tighter. It had become their "thing".

"How's my favorite Alex?" Ashlyn beamed. Impossible to wipe that smile off her face.

"Good! I'm so glad you're here!" Ali hopped down and they walked inside.

They went about their normal best friend routine. Getting lunch downtown. Relaxing on the beach. Sometimes going out for a couple drinks at night. Sometimes staying in and hanging out by the pool all night.

There was never a lull in the conversation.

But this trip- Ali seemed a little distant. A little reserved. It caused Ashlyn to put a hold on her plan to push the boundries.

Ali kept checking her phone. Responding to texts and quickly hiding a small smile.

"Alright." Ashlyn laughed. "Who are you texting?" She asked, assuming it was Pinoe or Lori giving them a hard time for being inseparable.

"No one. Sorry." Ali would immediately shut down and put her phone away when attention was drawn to it.

It made Ashlyn uneasy.

...

The next night, Ali's friend was celebrating her birthday on the town.

Ashlyn was excited to finally meet Ali's friends. She had heard so much about them and couldn't wait to make a good first impression. Something she considered herself pretty good at.

They walked into the bar and toward where Ali's friends were hanging out. Ali was a little nervous- after telling them so much about Ashlyn she hoped she didn't raise their hopes too high. She hoped they liked Ashlyn as much as she did.

Thankfully, they did. They clicked immediately and Ali swore they liked Ashlyn even more than they liked her. Which is something she also thought of her mom. They were best friends too. If her mom wasn't away this weekend, she swore she have stole Ashlyn away when she got there.

"Now I see why she's all you talk about." One of them said later on, teasingly. 

Ashlyn had to smile at that. "Oh really..." She said cockily.

"Please don't make her head any bigger." Ali teased, trying to hide her embarrassment.

"Tell me more." Ashlyn put her elbows on the table and leaned closer to the friends.

"Where do I start?" One of them teased back. Now purposely trying to embarrass Ali.

"Enough!" Ali laughed. "Stop exaggerating, jeeze."

They dropped it- figuring they had given her enough of a hard time. They were only kidding anyway.

If only they knew just how confused Ali was.

Nadine quickly changed the subject. "So, Al... tell me about this Scott guy?" She started and Ashlyn's confidence fell right to the floor.

Ali froze, not expecting anyone to bring it up since she only told Liz and told her **not to tell anyone**.

Liz elbowed Nadine in the side but her cover was already blown.

Ali didn't really know what to say. She definitely didn't want to have this conversation in front of Ashlyn... for some reason she didn't want to tell her.

Ashlyn didn't know what to do. Was Ali dating someone? She couldn't sit there and listen to this if that was the case.

"I'm gonna go... get another beer. Anyone want anything?" She made something up real quick.

Liz watched her and thought it was weird. But then again her and Ali were best friends- she figured Ashlyn already knew the whole story anyway. She shrugged it off.

"I'll take another too, please!" One of the girls, Meg, chimed in.

"You got it." Ashlyn would normally check with Ali too but she didn't. She just briskly walked toward the bar.

...

"He's just some guy I've been talking to." Ali said casually.

"How did you meet him? How old is he? Is he cute? Come on!" Nadine continued and Ali made sure to shoot a pointed glare at Liz.

"We met through Liz's brother. He's 26. Yes, he's cute. I guess." She finished.

"So are you guys like dating, or what?" Nadine pried.

"I don't know." Ali answered apathetically.

"Do you want to date him?"

"I don't know." Ali replied the same. 

...

Ashlyn certainly wasn't ready to go back to the table. _Well that explains the distance and frequent texting._ She struck up conversation with the bartender- a cute brunette with a nice tan. She figured it made more sense than forcing herself to listen to Ali gush about a guy.

Eventually, though Meg came over to see if Ashlyn ordered her beer or if she should get it on her own.

"Shit, sorry." Ashlyn apologized and ordered it for her. The brunette brought it over and winked at gave Ashlyn a look before telling her it was on the house. "Thanks." Ashlyn said as she tipped her own beer toward her.

This was nothing new for Ashlyn. She could go out with less than a penny and have girls buy her drinks all night. But tonight felt like work. She would give anything to not be here flirting with a girl she didn't even care about. She would give anything to be flirting with Ali.

"I'll be right back." The bartender said as she flashed Ashlyn a smile and went to help another customer quickly.

Meg caught the whole interaction and smiled. "Don't ditch us for _too_ long." She teased and walked back to the table.

...

Meg joined her friends and Ali tried her best not to ask what Ashlyn was doing. Though she knew the answer.

But after a few minutes of Ashlyn staying at the bar and making the new girl laugh uncontrollably- Liz grew curious too.

"Is she coming back to the table?" Liz asked.

Meg chuckled knowingly. "Probably not for a while. That girl has an eye for her." She tipped her head to the bartender.

"Get it, Ash!" Nadine cheered so only the table could hear and Ali gave her a glare. "What? She's cute." Nadine didn't see the harm in her comment.

"Aw. Ali's not used to being so far away from her bestie." Meg teased and leaned into Ali.

"I hate you all." Ali joked to mask the hurt she was feeling.

 _What is she doing?_ Her heart dropped.

...

A while later Ashlyn eventually rejoined the group. Ali was beyond annoyed at this point but knew she had no right to be. Still- she couldn't help but be bitter.

Nadine immediately slung an arm around Ashlyn's shoulders.

"She's back!" She beamed.

"I'm back." Ashlyn said softly, not making eye contact with anyone really.

"Did you get her number?" Meg asked bluntly.

"Oh my god, Meg." Ali almost whined.

"No." Ashlyn chuckled a little. "I didn't ask for it." For some reason- Ali felt relieved by that.

But no more than two minutes later the bartender called Ashlyn up to the bar to do a shot with her. Ashlyn was hesitant but her cool demeanor didn't show it at all.

"Girl's got game." Meg added and Ali wanted to get up and leave right then. But she couldn't. It was no one's fault but her own that she hadn't sorted her feelings out. And no one knew she had these confusing feelings except her.

So she was trapped at the table with friends who now adore Ashlyn, as she watched Ashlyn flirt with the bartender over their shoulders- pretending to listen to their stories. Watching the bartender hand Ashlyn a napkin- presumably with her phone number on it and watching the bartender... KISS ASHLYN ON THE CHEEK!

 _No! No, I will not sit here and watch this!_ Ali quickly got up. Glad none of her friends saw the reason why and excused herself to the bathroom.

They all looked to each other like 'what the hell' but let it slide anyway. After a few drinks it was easy to forget.

...

"Get a hold of yourself, Ali." She mumbled into the mirror before opening the door and walking right into... Ashlyn.

"Hey!" Ash said as she caught her.

"Hi." Ali grumbled and looked down to the ground.

"You okay?" Ashlyn asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." Ali brushed past her but Ashlyn knew that was a lie.

She grabbed Ali around the waist from behind- apparently more bold now with a few drinks in her.

Ali relaxed at the touch. Ashlyn had never really held her- except when they were play-fighting on the lifeguard chair. Ali remembered how it made her feel. Safe.

She softened up.

"I'm fine, really." Her tone changed to sweet Ali again. "I just had too much to drink, I think." She lied to cover it up, feeling bad for being rude.

 _That's a lie._ Ashlyn thought. Like she didn't notice every, single detail about Ali- right down to what she drank. _You only had three beers._ She didn't say it though. She knew something else must have bothered her but didn't push it.

"Maybe we should leave soon then?" Ashlyn suggested.

"Yea... maybe." Ali agreed. 

...

The cab ride back to Ali's mom's house was mostly silent.

Ali flopped on the couch when they got back and turned on the TV.

Ashlyn made a point to bring her a glass of water since she "drank too much" and sat down beside her. She leaned back and faced the TV as well.

The whole Scott thing was eating away at her. She wasn't sure how to go about it but she knew the only way to get past it was to find some sort of closure. If Ali really didn't feel the same way- it would help Ashlyn be able to move on.

"So...who's Scott?" She asked after a while of debating it.

Ali looked down at her glass of water. She felt bad about the whole thing. Just a little.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you." She conceded.

"Why would you keep something like that from me?" Ashlyn asked quietly.

 _Because I'm trying to prove to myself I'm not falling for you._ "I don't know." Ali replied softly.

"We're best friends- you can tell me anything." Ashlyn continued. Not sure how much she really wanted to know.

 _Best friends... right._ "I know." Ali replied.

Ashlyn sensed Ali didn't want to talk about it. She just didn't know why. And for some reason- that bothered her.

"Alright." Ashlyn chugged her water. "Goodnight then." She got up to put the glass in the sink before starting to the guest room.

Ali was annoyed at Ashlyn's quick exit. She thought back on the bartender flirting with Ashlyn. Buying her a shot. Kissing her cheek. She couldn't help but be spiteful.

"He's my boyfriend!" Ali blurted out and Ashlyn froze. She turned around on her heels to face Ali who refused to look at her.

"...Then I'm really happy for you, Al." She said, trying to hold back as much sarcasm as possible. She did truly want to be happy for Ali. "Goodnight."

Ashlyn disappered into the hallway and Ali was left feeling an aching in her chest.

 _Why does this hurt so much?_ She curled up and clutched the couch pillow. Getting up to walk to her room was too much of a task right now. She just wanted to curl up and avoid everything.

...

Ashlyn gave herself a pep-talk the next morning before leaving her room.

She had to make a choice. Get over Ali and salvage their friendship or pine over Ali to the point of depression.

She chose the one she thought would be best. Not best for her but best for Ali. She chose friendship.

...

Ashlyn figured the best way to get past it was to act like nothing happened.

She slept in the next day but still got up before Ali. Got doughnuts and coffee down the block and sat on the patio waiting for Ali to wake up.

Ali shuffled out a bit later and mumbled a thank you to Ashlyn for the coffee. She had a half-eaten, chocolate doughnut in her hand too.

"What's the plan today?" Ashlyn asked brightly.

Ali wasn't sure what changed from last night but Ashlyn seemed unaffected. She seemed like herself.

"I- uh... not sure." Ali stammered and sat down. "We can go to the beach later and then get dinner after?" Something they usually did on the last day of the visits.

"I'm... actually leaving tonight." Ashlyn put it out there. "So maybe lunch instead?"

Ali narrowed her eyes. Ashlyn always stayed Sunday night and left Monday morning. That's just how it always was. _Why is she leaving early?_

"Okay..." Ali said slowly, not really sure what to do.

"I have some things I need to do at home so it makes more sense." Ashlyn lied. She sucked it up. "So, maybe you and Scott can hang out or... whatever." She tried to sound supportive, enthusiastic, but it fell short.

"Yea. Maybe." Ali said in a dull tone. _Maybe I should talk to him about actually being my boyfriend. He's been pressing the subject for a while._ Ali thought. She wasn't even enthused about it.

"If you're happy- I'm really happy for you, Al." Ashlyn brought up her coffee cup and took a sip.

"Thanks." Ali said quietly.

And for a second Ashlyn thought there was something else Ali wanted to say.... but time passed and she remained silent...

...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a long one for ya. 
> 
> Updated from my phone because, once again, I'm impatient.
> 
> Thanks for all your input!

Ashlyn canceled on coming down two weeks later. Normally they would switch every other week but this time Ali was having a little party so Ashlyn was going to come down two weeks in a row. 

But she canceled the day before.

She said she had to help her grandma with a few things but Ali could tell she was lying. If Ashlyn wanted to be that way- fine. And if she wanted to play games- Ali would play them too. She planned to ignore Ashlyn.

But what Ali didn't know was **why** Ashlyn didn't want to come.

Ash paced her kitchen trying to convince herself she could do it. She could be happy for Ali. She could meet this Scott guy and act normal. But deep down she knew it woud hurt more than anything else.

She never wanted to meet him. He had everything she wanted. He had Ali.

...

"Do you want to tell me the real reason you didn't come down?" Ali asked in a drunk dial to Ashlyn the night of the party. It was quiet in the background- like she was alone.

So much for ignoring Ashlyn.

Ashlyn thought hard about it. _Do I **want** to tell her? No._

"No." Ashlyn said quietly. She couldn't do it. "I already told you why." She knew Ali was drunk- she could tell. She didn't want to have this conversation once, let alone twice.

If Ali had demanded to know the real reason- Ashlyn would have told her. She couldn't deny Ali anything. But that's not what Ali asked... She asked if she **wanted to**...

Ashlyn heard a sigh at the other end of the line- like maybe Ali was expecting her to say something important. But she remained silent.

"Alex..." Ashlyn said after a moment.

"You're so frustrating." Ali admitted. She realized she would regret this phone call in the morning.

"Sorry." Ashlyn sounded defeated. This is exactly what she didn't want- to ruin her friendship with Ali, let alone ruin her night. "I'll let you get back to the party." She offered.

Ali paused a moment before responding to her. "Goodbye, Ashlyn."

Something about that sounded so definitive- like Ali was really saying goodbye to her. She hoped it wasn't so.

Ali hung up the phone and put it on her nightstand before crawling into bed and pulling the covers to her chin.

She had canceled the party the day before- before Ashlyn bailed. She didn't want to share her Ashlyn time with anyone else.

Not even Scott. For some reason, she wasn't excited about the two of them meeting. Or the two of them being in the same place at the same time.

And when Ashlyn bailed on her- Ali felt let down and upset. So upset she thought it was a good idea to drink a whole bottle of wine. And then she thought it was a good idea to call Ashlyn.

Again, now, she thought about the two of them meeting. It stressed her out. She worried she wouldn't like him after. She worried maybe she would see his flaws if he stood next to someone who was perfect. Someone like... Ashlyn.

Ali never believed in perfection before. Not until Ashlyn. And she realized it right then...

She heard a saying a long time ago and it never made sense until now...

_No one is perfect until you're in love with them._

"Oh my god." She whispered to herself when it hit her.

...

The phone call only made Ashlyn want to avoid Ali even more. She knew Ali would never reciprocate her feelings and thought it was a lost cause.

Ali avoided contacting Ashlyn after her realization. She didn't know how to handle this- let alone how she felt about it.

The next weekend was technically supposed to be an Ali-driving-up weekend but they hadn't talked about it. And it slipped through the cracks.

Ashlyn was never the stay-at-home type but she found herself sprawled out on the couch most of the weekend. Wondering why Ali hadn't called or texted. She could feel their closeness drifting away.

Ali wondered the same thing. Sitting on the balcony at her mom's place.

Both were too stubborn to break the silence.

...

Kelley was having an end the summer beach party at the same house they stayed in a few months ago. Both were invited. They knew the silence would come to an end sooner-or-later... and that time was next weekend.

Ali sucked it up. It made more sense for them to carpool since they would be traveling the exact same route once Ali got a couple hours North. She texted Ashlyn.

Ashlyn was surprised to hear from her. She figured Ali was onto her feelings and everything was ruined. But it didn't stop her heart from fluttering when she saw Ali's name come up on her phone.

 **Text from Kriegs:** Carpool this weekend? I'll drive :)

Ashlyn couldn't say no to that but she had a moment of worry. _What if her boyfriend is coming too?_ She knew she wasn't ready for that so she tried to figure it out without asking.

 **Text from Ashlyn:** Can I fit my surfboard?

When Ali said she could- Ashlyn was fairly certain it was just the two of them and said she would love to carpool. Now all she had to worry about was... the entire ride, the entire weekend, and being face-to-face with the only thing on her mind for weeks. Ali.

...

Ali was so nervous to see Ashlyn. She drove a little slower the closer she got to her house. She made a deal with herself to act like nothing had changed and see how she felt.

That deal was shot to shit when Ali pulled up in front of the house. Ashlyn was out front playing freeze-tag with the neighbors kids. Ali's heart practically melted when Ashlyn slightly waved to her after being tagged and "frozen".

"Hey, Alex!" Ashlyn was excited to see her. "I can't come to Georgia until someone un-freezes me." She teased and waited for one of the kids to do so.

Eventually one did and she was free to go.

"Bye, Ash!" The kids waved and continued their game.

Ali smiled while she watched this transpire. She loved kids and it was quite endearing to see Ashlyn interact with them. She was a natural.

"Hi." Ali smiled when Ashlyn walked right up and hugged her. Oh how she missed that hug.

"Hey you." Ashlyn said from inside the hug before she let go. "Do you need to run inside or anything before we go?" She asked.

"Can I use the bathroom real quick?"

Ashlyn nodded. "You know where it is." She called over her shoulder and carried her stuff to the car.

...

Ali walked past the living room and toward the hall but stopped when she got there. She took a few steps back to verify what she saw. Ashlyn's pillow was on the couch. Her blanket folded under it- like she had been sleeping there.

She took a mental note and continued to the bathroom so they could get on their way.

_Why is she sleeping in the living room? Unless... she can't sleep._

...

Ashlyn also had made a deal with herself to act like everything was okay. She had to try and save this friendship. She needed Ali in her life in any way possible. In her mind, it was her fault everything went wrong.

"So... what's new? I missed you." She gave Ali a quick side hug when she got in the car.

Ashlyn had already unhooked Ali's iPod and plugged hers in- a new playlist blaring through the speakers. The usual. She rolled down her window and her arm was stretched out in the sun.

Ali was perplexed by the fact Ashlyn seemed unaffected by their time apart. By Ali not contacting her and not showing up last week. Did she think it was okay to bail on Ali's party too?

But Ali had made a promise to save this friendship too. So she pushed past it.

"Nothing new really. Same old." She was vague.

They started back on the road listening to Ashlyn sing a terrible rendition of her current favorite song and for some reason, it made Ali relax a little. She loved when Ashlyn sang- even if it was awful.

They talked like normal. Except neither one mentioned Scott. Neither one mentioned Ali's party. Neither one mentioned Ali ditching on last weekend.

...

They stopped at a gas station about half-way to fill up and get snacks. There was a guy checking out Ali while he filled up his car. Completely harmless- just enjoying the view. But Ashlyn still didn't appreciate it when she noticed as she came out with chips, iced tea, and donuts for the two of them.

She made sure to position herself so he couldn't see Ali anymore, which really only brought her right to Ali's side as she continued to fill her car.

"Hi." Ali was slightly startled by Ashlyn suddenly appearing against her side.

"That guy is checking you out pretty hard. I don't like it." She said without thinking.

Ali looked over her best friend's shoulder and the guy quickly re-focused on filling his tank. It made Ali smile to think something such as that could make Ashlyn so defensive.

"Over-protective much?" Ali teased and nudged her. Somewhat flattered.

Ashlyn realized maybe her worry was unnecessary. "I uhh..." She gave in. "Yea, I guess." _What's the point in lying?"_

That made Ali smile her bright, toothy grin. Ashlyn loved that smile- it made her melt.

"If you keep smiling like that- **all** the guys in this town will be staring." She teasingly warned but she was also flirting.

Ali's heart beat faster every time Ashlyn got flirtatious with her.

She made a funny face.

"If I looked like this, would that help?" She teased.

"Maybe a little." Ashlyn played along.

"What about this?" Ali made the worst face possible and Ashlyn was hysterically laughing. Ali joined in too and her laugh echoed through the area.

"Yea, that'll keep 'em away." Ashlyn joked. "That laugh though..." She pretended to get serious and took the gas pump from Ali's hand. "You better get in the car right now before someone asks you to marry them." She teased some more.

Ali just smiled and stood on her toes to wrap her arms around Ashlyn's neck. She's not sure why but something about that interaction really got her.

"I missed you." She whispered as she hugged Ashlyn tight.

The guy stopped staring.

...

"Hey guys!" Kelley cheered when she answered the door. She crushed Ashlyn in a hug and then Ali. "You're the first ones here!"

The party was two nights away but a few of the girls were staying for a long weekend- Ash and Ali, Pinoe and Lori, Kelley and Tobin, etc.

"Which means... you get first dibs on a room!" She smiled wide. "But you do have to share since there's a ton of us so... choose wisely."

 _Sharing a room?_ Ashlyn mentally dropped a jaw. How was she supposed to act normal if she's sharing a bed with Ali?

...

"Which side do you want?" Ashlyn asked as she stood by the bed. _Because I like the left._

"Doesn't matter." Ali shrugged. She didn't care which side as long as she was next to Ashlyn.

"Choose!" Ashlyn laughed.

"The right!" Ali tossed her stuff on her side.

Ashlyn nodded. _Damn, Ali. Give me a reason to not like you!_

She wanted to mess with Ali anyway. She pushed Ali's bag to the left side of the bed and flopped onto the right side. 

"Too bad I like the right side too!" She pretended to make herself comfortable on Ali's side. 

"Oh, its like that, huh?" Ali challenged and moved closer, kneeling on the bed next to her bag. "I should let you know- I kick a lot during the night." She said as she put her foot on Ashlyn's hip.

She strategically gave only a little pressure- not enough to push Ashlyn but just enough she couldn't lean to the side.

Even contact like that was enough to make Ashlyn's head swim.

And Ali noticed her hesitate- like she did every time they were in close contact. But this time, Ali wanted to see what it was like to push the boundries.

She applied more pressure to Ashlyn's hip until Ashlyn was about to fall off the bed.

Ashlyn let it go as long as she could withstand but when she was right on the edge- she reacted by grabbing Ali's leg and pulling her down playfully. They wrestled for a little bit which mostly meant they were completely, all-over each other- tetering on that fine line of friendship.

Ali quickly grabbed Ashlyn's hands and pinned them down. She didn't notice until now she was sitting on Ashlyn's hips, straddling her, leaning over her. Something about how easy it was makes Ali think Ashlyn let her do it- like she wanted this closeness to happen.

And Ali lets herself get caught up in it.

Staring down at Ashlyn- she can see more than those pretty eyes, those endearing freckles, that adorably adorable nose... she sees everything she wants. Everything.

She looks down to Ashlyn's lips just in time to see them form the word "hey" to get her attention. But before she can dart back to Ashlyn's eyes- Kelley walks into the room.

"Hey, did you guys- oh my god!" She stands there with her jaw dropped for a second and then appologizes and rushes out of the room.

"Kell!"Ashlyn called after her.

"Wait!" Ali joined in.

"No, its okay. Shoulda knocked. Sorry!" Kelley calls from down the hall.

"Kelley!" Ashlyn laughs. "Its not like that! Come back!"

 _Its not like what?_ Ali wonders, secretly cursing Kelley for possibly interrupting something big.

"Its not what it looks like!" Ali joins in and forces a laugh to lighten the mood. She can't look at Ashlyn- its still too tense right now. Something almost just happened.

 _I'm pretty sure it was about to be **exactly** what it looked like._ Ashlyn thinks to herself. _Dammit, Kelley! Horrible timing._

Kelley comes back into the room. Slowly.

Ashlyn is now sitting up and Ali is laying on the bed, her legs still draped over her best friend.

"We were wrestling." Ashlyn pointed out.

"Oh." Kelley responded but didn't seem to convinced as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Ashlyn and Ali looked at each other and nodded before grabbing Kelley and bringing her down. The three of them wrestling each other but it was mostly Ash and Ali ganging up on Kelley.

...

Later, when a few of the girls had arrived and they were all hanging by the pool, Ashlyn went inside to get a snack. Kelley made sure to follow, discretly.

"Hey."

Ashlyn jumped. "Holy sh- jeeze, Kel. You're like a freaking ninja today." She said with her hand over her heart.

"Sorry." Kelley said quickly. "So... about before..."

Ashlyn looked at her confused and then caught on.

"Ohhh." She laughed. "Yea, that." Ashlyn looked into the fridge to hide her blushing cheeks.

"Do you like her, Ash?" Kelley got right to the point. She sounded like she already knew the answer.

"What?! No!" Ashlyn lied and pretended it was the most ridiculous thing she ever heard.

"Are you lying to me?" Kelley asked, suddenly very serious.

"...No." Ashlyn looked her in the eyes.

Kelley analyzed her expression for a moment before shrugging and accepting it.

"Okay." She said, like she was convinced, and made her way to the door. "But just be careful with her, okay? Because... I'm pretty sure she likes you." She said and walked out to the patio before Ashlyn even had a chance to respond.

Kelley did it on purpose. She knew what she was doing and she knew her friends well. Ashlyn needed a push and Ali needed a reason to accept it. Neither one was on to the other... yet.

Ashlyn stood there frozen for a moment after Kelley left. She always thought she felt something more from Ali's side but she chalked it up to an extremely close bond of friendship. But now with a little bit of back-up, she had the push needed to maybe see where things could go.

But for right now- she couldn't wipe the ridiculous smile off her face.

...


	6. Chapter 6

Later that night, when everyone was winding down and some were heading off to bed, Ali found Ash sitting with Pinoe by the pool. Both of them slowly kicking their legs in the water as they talked.

Pinoe got up at one point and Ashlyn moved to follow but saw Ali coming over out of the corner of her eye. She decided to stay.

"Walk on the beach for old time's sake?" Ali sat down next to Ashlyn and dipped her feet in the pool.

"After this beer?" Ash asked and held up her almost empty bottle. She didn't want to seem too eager.

"Sure." Ali smiled and leaned her head on Ashlyn's shoulder.

This was Ali's first step in seeing if something more was possible between the two of them. The second step would come on the walk along the beach. The third step would happen when they stopped walking.

...

"Let me get that for you, miss." Ashlyn said in a Southern accent and pushed the door open for Ali.

"So kind of you." Ali teasingly responded and flashed Ashlyn's favorite smile as she walked out.

That smile gave Ashlyn butterflies all on its own and she admired it for longer than intended. She could get caught in that smile for hours.

"You coming?" Ali asked with a cocky when she noticed Ashlyn gazing at her.

"Huh? Yea." Ashlyn shook her head and jogged to catch up. "Wouldn't pass up a walk with my favorite girl." Ashlyn pointed out and wrapped an arm around Ali's shoulders as they walked.

She just wanted to be close to her at all times. A couple beers helped ease her worries and Kelley's words from earlier certainly didn't hurt. Plus, their wrestling session had her hooked on Ali's touch.

...

They started walking in the direction they always walked last time they were here. But this time proved to be different. This time, Ali grabbed Ashlyn's hand a few minutes into the walk.

She intertwined their fingers and got nervous when Ashlyn stopped talking mid-sentence. And more nervous when Ashlyn fumbled for words. But then she was relieved when Ashlyn picked back up and continued where she left off.

Ashlyn tried her best to stay cool. _Ahh! She's holding my hand!_ She was beyond excited but tried to compose herself enough to finish her story.

...

They sat on the same lifeguard chair as last time and Ali again sat close to her.

"It's been a while." Ashlyn happily patted the arm of the chair.

"It has." Ali agreed as she smiled at the blonde.

"What?" Ashlyn asked when she saw the guilty grin.

"Just remembering when I told you I kissed a girl last time we were here." She said and leaned in a little more.

Ashlyn couldn't help but lean closer also and smile back.

"Two girls." She corrected quietly but with a knowing grin.

Ali's eyes rose to meet hers. _Here goes nothing._

"Three." She whispered and leaned into Ashlyn's lips to close the gap.

...

"Whoa whoa." Ashlyn pulled back and stared at her. "What're you doing?!" She asked, completely surprised by Ali's advance, though she should have seen it coming.

"I thought... I..." Ali searched for words. She thought the feeling was mutual.

"I can't do this." Ashlyn pointed out and looked Ali in the eye but Ali looked away.

"I'm sorry. I thought, maybe you wanted this too." She said sadly.

Ashlyn narrowed her eyes and tilted her head to catch Ali's but Ali still avoided her gaze.

"Al... Alex, look at me." She coaxed softly.

She waited for Ali to look up. She needed to see the look in her eyes. She needed to know if this was for real or if this was just something Ali wanted to experiment with.

Ashlyn was so lost in Ali that she couldn't be her "experiment"- she knew she would never fully recover from that heartbreak. Ali was her whole world.

But when Ali's eyes met her, Ashlyn saw nothing but nervousness.

"I can't do this, Alex." Ashlyn reiterated.

"I heard you the first time." Ali mumbled, embarrassed she just kissed her best friend. "I had the wrong impression. I'm sorry." She started to get up to leave.

"What? No..." Ashlyn scoffed. "I can't do this because you have a boyfriend. Not because I don't want this."

Ali slowly sat back down and looked her in the eye for a moment in silence. She couldn't find the words to respond so Ashlyn continued with a little reassurance.

"Trust me... I want this." She said pointedly.

She saw the hope flare in Ali's eyes and it took everything she had not to kiss her right then and there. But she knew she had to do this right. She had to make it perfect from the beginning.

"Hopefully I don't end up hating myself for stopping this but I can't let you make that mistake. I can't let you carry the guilt of doing something you'll regret when you get home." Ashlyn explained.

"I don't regret it." Ali shook her head.

"You're not a cheater, Alex. I'm not going to let you become one." Ashlyn pushed.

"Yea..." Ali hung her head. _But Scott and I are hardly even dating. I was trying to prove to myself that I could like someone other than you._

"I'm not giving you an ultimatum." Ashlyn pointed out. "I just..." She took a deep breath.

_Now or never..._

"I really like you. I have for a long time." She admitted. "I can't lose you to a mistake we made by doing this the wrong way. I can't lose you because you resent me for allowing this to happen when you're involved with someone else."

Ali scoffed at the thought of _actually_ liking Scott.

Ashlyn paused and stared at her. _Does she think this is funny?_

"Sorry." Ali back-pedaled and conceded.

Ashlyn slowly nodded and looked down at her hands.

 _Shit._ Now Ali was kicking herself. It was either confess it all or risk Ashlyn thinking she is laughing at her.

"I don't like him!" Ali blurted loudly. She even surprised herself.

_Confessing it all, it is._

"So why are you-"

"To prove to myself what I feel for you isn't real!" Ali interrupted to explain. "It was stupid... I know."

Ashlyn was caught up on the 'what I feel for you' part. She had her suspicions since they met but this was proof. She didn't want to press it though. Now wasn't the time.

Ali could see Ashlyn processing this information. She decided to make things easier.

"But I can't deny it anymore. I have feelings for you, Ashlyn. And no matter what I do or who I date- those feelings aren't going to change." She leaned closer to Ashlyn again.

Ashlyn pulled back again. It took all she had to do so.

"We can't." She whispered, regret thick in her voice as she flinched at her own words.

If Ali was 100% sure about this- Ashlyn wouldn't be able to turn her down. But that ounce of uncertainty was what worried her. If Ali ever regretted this- their friendship would be ruined- Ashlyn couldn't risk losing it all. Ali meant too much to her.

She couldn't lose her best friend.

Ali nodded up and down. She both didn't get it and could see where Ashlyn was coming from but she couldn't help but feel rejected.

"We should head back." Ali muttered and got up again.

This time Ashlyn didn't say anything to stop her. She got up also and hopped down after Ali.

...

Ali kept her distance on the walk back. Still too embarrassed to talk.

Ashlyn wanted her to know everything was okay so she grabbed Ali's hand and laced their fingers together.

Had the conversation not been so unresolved, Ali would have smiled. But instead it just made her more confused.

...

When they got to the front door, Ali went to let go of Ashlyn's hand but was met with resistance.

Ashlyn tightened her grip slightly and pulled Ali into a hug. She held her close and pressed a kiss to her temple before letting go. It was reassurance more than anything else but she felt like she needed to clear something up.

"Its just timing." Ashlyn pointed out when Ali looked to her.

"I know." Ali admitted, discouraged, feeling like this was her fault. She never should have started anything with Scott.

"If this is really something you want to pursue..." She motioned between herself and Ali. "I'm all in. We just have to do it right." She nodded.

Ali looked at her shyly and let her go on.

"If you realize this was just a passing thing- I'll still be your best friend. Okay?" She gave Ali both options but she really hoped Ali would want the first one.

Ali nodded shyly and Ashlyn's heart broke a little seeing how embarrassed she seemed. She couldn't help but add another thought.

"Granted, I'd be **forever** kicking myself for not kissing you when I had the chance but..." She waited for Ali to crack a smile. "Your best friend none-the-less."

"Okay." Ali laughed softly and hugged her tight.

All this chivalry only made Ali want to kiss her even more. But she refrained. Being rejected twice in one night was more than enough. Especially since she had never been rejected before.

Holding Ali so close made it hard for Ashlyn to stick to her morals.

When they pulled apart, they were face to face and both of them paused.

Ashlyn fought it as long as she could but her eyes dropped down to Ali's lips anyway.

Ali took that as her que to even the playing field.

"We should go to bed." She interrupted Ashlyn's gaze and pulled away slowly. Just to string her along a little.

"Y-yea." Ashlyn shook her head after a second.

That moment was all the assurance Ali needed. She could see how caught up Ashlyn got and how hard she was fighting it. Now she knew the feeling was mutual.

They both had it pretty bad and Ali already knew what she had to do.

...


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this. Its already written so I'll probably put it up tomorrow.
> 
> Sydney (and all)- how am I doing so far?

Kelley invited Ali to go with her to pick up bagels the next morning and the two of them hopped in the car.

Little did Ali know... Kelley, who already had suspicions of the two of them, had seen their little interaction at the front door last night. She planned to step-in again and push things along.

"She likes you, you know." Kelley said out of nowhere as they walked back to the car with everyone's breakfast in hand. 

"What? Who?" Ali feigned oblivion and Kelley only had to give her a look to break her act.

Ali gave in.

"I mean... maybe." She dumbed it down but she was pretty sure Kelley was right.

"Definitely." Kelley corrected. "She told me the other day."

Kelley didn't consider what she was doing as lying. In her mind, Ashlyn **did** tell her she liked Ali. She just didn't tell her with her words.

"She did?" Ali paused and asked. A smile spreading across her face as she looked down.

Kelley knew now was the time. Keep it short and sweet with this one.

"She's really great, Al. Don't pass it up, okay?" She said and hopped into the car.

 _I won't._ Ali answered Kelley in her head.

...

They all went to the beach during the day and hung out.

After sharing a few lingering glances from Ashlyn throughout the day, Ali excused herself to make a phone call and made her way back to the house.

She was quiet when she returned but no one really thought anything of it. Sometimes it was hard to get a word in with Kelley and Lori around.

...

The party started that night and without a hitch. Kelley's two groups of friends came together in one place and everyone was having a great time.

Ashlyn watched her drink count. She knew it was impossible to resist Ali as it was. She didn't need alcohol making decisions for her.

Ali did the same. She was having a rough day and didn't want to over-do it.

Ashlyn noticed the change in Ali's behavior. She seemed okay but just quiet. She was looking for Ali to ask her to be her beer pong partner but couldn't find Ali anywhere.

"Have you seen Ali?" She asked Pinoe.

"I think she went inside?" Pinoe guessed as she remembered see her go in a while ago.

Ashlyn went inside and checked the kitchen, the bathrooms, the living room but still no sign of Ali. She decided to check their room and pulled out her phone and sent her a text on the way.

She opened the door to something she hoped wouldn't be there...

Emptyness.

She sighed and tossed her phone on the bed before searching her suitcase for a flannel.

The door opened and closed behind her and she spun around to find Ali standing there. Looking just as surprised as she to find her there.

"Hey." Ashlyn said carefully. "Where ya been?"

Ali looked at her for a moment before walking closer and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I was sitting on the front steps." Ali filled her in. "Needed some to clear my head."

"You okay?" Ashlyn crouched down to get eye-level.

"I am." Ali smiled. "Now."

Ashlyn studied her expression and believed her.

"Okay, good." She smiled and stood up to go back to her flannel searching.

Once her back was to Ali, she heard the unmistakable sound of a calculated throat-clearing. The kind you hear right before a confession or an important realization.

She turned back around.

"I broke up with Scott." Ali started.

And when Ashlyn gave her an astonished look, she continued.

"So um... that's my decision." She finished shyly.

The response she wanted never came and after a moment of silence, she looked up. Ashlyn was just gaping at her... That was not a good sign.

"You broke up with him over the phone?" Ashlyn asked with narrowed eyes.

She felt like Ali rushed into something without considering the consequences. Which is exaclty the opposite of what she wanted.

"Yea." Ali furrowed her brow and said it like it was no big deal.

"Al... that's not what I meant. I didn't want to rush you into anything." She almost whined.

"I didn't rush. I was going to break up with him anyway." Ali moved closer but Ash took a step back.

Ali was put-off and offended by that. She couldn't help but think Ashlyn changed her mind or didn't want her to begin with. The feeling of rejection was creeping back up.

Had she just abruptly broken up with poor Scott (over the phone) for nothing?

"Al..." Ashlyn started from her position, steps away from Ali.

"Is this just a game for you?" Ali accused. "Is this what you do?"

She was referring to Ashlyn's past history with girls and Ashlyn knew it.

"You confuse girls and make them fall for you and when they break-up with their boyfriends you just hang them out to dry?" Ali pressed angrily.

"What?!" Ashlyn was the one offended now.

Ali had the wrong impression completely.

Had Ali stuck around a second longer Ashlyn would have explained she was not expecting this to happen so soon. That she wanted to take things slow and do this right. That she wanted everything to be perfect.

But Ali left her standing there, alone in their room, before Ashlyn could even get a word out.

 _What the fuck just happened?_ Ashlyn stood there, miffed.

...

Ash figured Ali went back to the party so she did too. She grabbed a drink and sat down neext to Kelley.

"Did you find Ali?" Kel asked.

"Uh yea." Ashlyn muttered. "And then I lost her again."

Kelley looked at her carefully to study her reaction.

"Ash?" She asked when she wasn't getting a good read.

"She broke up with Scott." Ashlyn said vaguely. She figured Kelley would catch on to why that was important.

She did.

"That's good, isn't it?" Kelley asked. Confused as to why it didn't sound like good news.

"I didn't want to mess things up for her, Kel." Ashlyn whispered. "What if she decides this isn't what she wants?"

"What?" Kelley said loudly and stared at her in disbelief.

Ashlyn looked up and around and gave Kelley a glare to remind her to be quiet.

"Are you blind?" Kelley asked and threw her arms up in the air.

She shook her head at Ashlyn and gave her a disapproving look before getting up and leaving Ashlyn to her thoughts.

Again Kelley was doing this on purpose. She knew Ashlyn would figure it out on her own in about 3... 2... 1...

She watched Ashlyn process the information out of the corner of her eye. And then, suddenly, she got up and bolted for the house. She had finally figured it out.

...

Ashlyn frantically searched for Ali. _She's in love with me. She's in love with me? Is she really in love with me?_ She asked herself over and over as she scoured the rooms.

"Hey!" Tobin stopped her as she ran past in the hallway.

She had to grab Ashlyn's arm to stop her from passing.

"I just saw Ali storm off down the beach path. What happened?" Tobin asked.

"Which way did she go?" Ashlyn rushed her question.

"I don't know." Tobin shrugged as Ashlyn pulled away in a rush.

"Thanks, Tobs!" Ash yelled with a smile as she grabbed two beers from the fridge on her way to the door.

Tobin was totally confused but she knew something was up.

"What'd you do?" She called after Ashlyn who was already out the front door.

"It's what I didn't do!" Ashlyn yelled over her shoulder as she ran to the beach.

A vague answer was going to have to do for now. Tobin shrugged again and headed back to the party. She knew Ali was in good hands with Ashlyn.

...


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end...

It was pretty easy to find Ali. She was sitting in the sand a few feet to the side of their lifeguard chair. Her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them.

Ashlyn stopped a few yards away and took one last look at her before moving closer. She took a deep breath to calm herself and moved in.

Ashlyn sat down next to Ali without a word.

And Ali didn't dare look at her. She kept her eyes trained on the ocean.

Ashlyn handed her a beer and when Ali didn't take it, Ashlyn nudged her with it to coax her.

Ali took it without looking and kept her gaze forward. She was pretty upset with Ashlyn. And herself- for thinking this could be anything more than a friendship.

Ash's eyes never left Ali. She could see the anger and the hurt in her mannerisms. She didn't want to wait anymore.

"Never Have I Ever: been in love with my best friend." She asked and easily took a sip, eyes still trained on Ali.

She waited with bated breath.

Ali turned and gave her a pointed glare but quickly narrowed her eyes and looked back to the sea. She put her beer bottle down in the sand.

Ashlyn's heart dropped- she really thought she was on to something. That the feeling was mutual. That Ali loved her too. But that was all shattered when Ali's bottle met the sand.

Ashlyn's stomach knotted. She felt sick. She wanted to run.

But then Ali took a deep breath.

The corner of her mouth turned up in a slight smile and she reluctantly shook her head side to side. She gave in and raised the bottle to her lips as she sighed with a smile before taking a sip.

Ashlyn didn't stop staring at her since she sat down but the stare intensified when Ali took that sip. When Ali admited there was something there. Something real.

...

It was silent for a while. Neither one knew what to say but Ashlyn knew she had to be the one to start it.

She moved closer to Ali and propped herself up on one arm. She took the beer from Ali's hand and placed it in the sand behind them. She brought her hand back and to Ali's chin, lifting it so their eyes could finally meet.

When they did- she swore the world stopped for a second.

Everything she wanted was right in front of her and she'd be damned if she was going to waste another second waiting for it.

She looked down to Ali's lips for a split second before leaning in and crashing them with her own.

Ashlyn's one hand on Ali's jaw, her other buried in the sand, she kissed Ali with everything she had. Months and months of emotions poured into one kiss.

Ali leaned into her. Eventully wrapping her hand around the back of Ashlyn's neck to deepen the kiss. Her other hand next to Ashlyn's in the sand as she pulled her closer.

...

Eventually they broke apart. Still lingering close to each other as they breathed heavily and smiled into each other's lips.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Ashlyn whispered and pecked her sweetly a few times.

Until pecking turned back into deep kissing. Ashlyn just could not get enough of this girl.

...

The vibration of Ali's phone eventually interrupted them.

It was Kelley. She had to answer it.

"Hello?" ... "At the beach." ... "No, I'm not running. Why?"

"Because you sound out of breath." Ashlyn heard Kelley respond on the other end.

She knew what Kelley was insinuating. 

"We'll be back soon." Ashlyn blurted into the phone and then playfully leaned into Ali's neck. Nipping at it softly.

Ali ended the call as she laughed at their antics.

"We should probably get back." She offered reluctantly.

"I think we can stay a little longer." Ashlyn tried to be smooth but the huge smile on her face made it hard to hide. "We've only been gone for-"

"An hour." Ali finished her sentence.

"What?" Ashlyn didn't believe her. It didn't seem that long. "We've been making-out for an hour?"

"We have." Ali nodded and smiled shyly. 

"Wow. Time flies when you're having-"

"Fun." Ali did it again and gave her a smirk.

Ashlyn bit her lip and started to move back in.

"Mmm... yea." She smiled and kissed Ali again. And again.

...

A few minutes later, Ali pulled back and convinced Ashlyn they should head to the house. She didn't really want to go but knew it would be best in the long run. Less of a reason to have to explain where they were and why they were gone for so long.

Ashlyn grumbled the entire walk until Ali laced their fingers together. Suddenly, she had no complaints.

...

When they got to the end of the beach path, Ali let go of her hand and turned to face her.

"Pick up where we left off later?" She asked shyly.

Ashlyn nodded confidently, like there was no other possible answer.

"Good." Suddenly Ali's mood changed. Her eyes turned a darker shade of brown and she pulled Ashlyn closer to whisper in her ear. "Because you're a really good kisser."

She pulled back and let her hand quickly trail down Ashlyn's neck and chest before grabbing her hand and pulling her along. Teasingly.

She knows Ashlyn can't resist a shameless flirt. She knows every, single thing Ashlyn can't resist. Because she's her best friend. She's heard it all.

Ashlyn allowed herself to be dragged back to the party. She would have allowed Ali to drag her anywhere, really.

If she wasn't head-over-heels, 100%, hopelessly in-love with Ali Krieger before, she sure was now.

.


End file.
